The Martyrdom of Motherhood

Posted by on January 14, 2016 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

I’m writing this from the perspective of a therapist who works with a mothers, as well as a therapist who is a mother herself.  I’ve noticed a troubling trend among mothers of this generation and am hoping that naming this trend will help provide clarity.  Specifically, I hope to address mother guilt in response to extremely unrealistic expectations. On a social media forum specifically catering to new mothers, a mother posted about her guilt over using an iPhone nursing her infant.  Her infant was only a few weeks old, so she was...

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Redefining Forgiveness

Posted by on January 12, 2016 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

I have the honor of working with a lot of trauma survivors in my practice.  It is hard work, and I’m often inspired by the courage of a trauma survivor.  For those who have survived interpersonal violence or abuse, one of the greatest challenges of the healing process is forgiveness.  I’d like to take a moment to address the misconceptions of forgiveness. I’d like to redefine forgiveness as acceptance.  A lot of survivors believe that forgiveness means that they have to be “ok” with the terrible things they had to endure at the hands of their...

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The Importance of Unplugging

Posted by on January 7, 2016 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Our smart phones are no longer just phones.  Most of us have a relationship with our phones.  They hold our calendars and our schedules.  They can now serve as our timekeepers, our alarms, our watches.  They provide infinite methods for us to remain stimulated, informed and entertained at all times. They provide endless ways of communicating with anyone, all the time. By touching just a few buttons, we can have essentially anything delivered to our door instantly, whether it be, food, an artisanal pizza oven, an absurdly large package of...

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Solutions to our New Years Resolution Failures

Posted by on January 5, 2016 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

I have a confession to make.  Outside of my work life, I am not an organized person.  I like being neat, but being neat and being organized are not the same thing. The only reason why I’m (moderately) organized in my work life is because I have to be.  The administrative aspects of my work life that require organization are my least favorite parts of the job.  My home life, on the other hand, can be described as organized chaos.  I may know where the food clips are located, but no one else does because my system makes no coherent sense....

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Avoidance and Anxiety in Childhood Anxiety Disorders

Posted by on February 17, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Managing a child’s anxiety can be quite difficult for parents. Sometimes parents know that the teen has an irrational fear so they try to convince the child through logical argument that they are safe. This can feel like running on a rat-wheel, however, as rational argument doesn’t have any lasting impact on the child. They may feel somewhat comforted today, but be just as afraid tomorrow. Other times, the child’s distress is so intense that the parent gives up on trying to convince them and allows the child to miss important activities....

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Having Realistic Expectations for Therapy

Posted by on February 17, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Making that first phone call to schedule an appointment with a psychologist takes courage.  For many, it’s the first time such a phone call has ever been made. And it’s the first step to change.  But what does change really look like?  What can one realistically expect from therapy? The purpose of this blog is to address the false or unrealistic expectations that some people have prior to entering therapy.  Unrealistic expectations for therapy can be one of the major roadblocks to meaningful change. 1) Change is not linear.  It...

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The Parenting Hangover

Posted by on February 11, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

All parents have those “cringe worthy” moments—those moments with our kids that we wish we could take back.  A moment where you snapped at them or said something you realize you didn’t want to say.  Or perhaps it was a moment where you didn’t do something that you regret, like missing your son’s winning soccer goal because you were busy talking on the phone.  Whatever it is, we all have those moments, which are subsequently followed by the “parenting hangover”, or that reactionary feeling of...

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Before you go into Graduate School, consider this.

Posted by on February 6, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

Despite the blog title, this blog is written for people who are either considering graduate school or are already in the thick of graduate school.  I’ll be writing about both the unique challenges of graduate school, and some coping methods that can make the graduate experience as enriching and productive as possible.  I’m writing from both personal experience as well as the experiences I’ve gleaned from colleagues, friends and clients. So the first question is: Why can graduate school be so difficult? 1) First, there is a...

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Are you “good enough” to balance your life?

Posted by on February 5, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

I recently had a conversation with a good friend about the challenges of work/life balance.  Even when you maintain some semblance of a work/life balance, it can still feel as though something is missing, as though something else needs to be added or removed from the equation.  And that’s when I realized that there is no perfect and concrete equation for work/life balance.  It’s all a mental game. Work/life balance has become such a buzzword that I worry it has lost its meaning, even though the actual concept is incredibly...

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Gaslighting

Posted by on January 28, 2015 in Uncategorized | Comments Off

I want to write my own reactions and experiences to the well written article I posted on this blog about gaslighting, a slow and sneaky form of emotional abuse.  To understand the context behind the name, please read the article (it sums it up very concisely): http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/gaslighting-a-slow-burning-emotional-abuse-tactic-0121154 Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that, put in colloquial terms, is a form of “crazy making.”  The abuser manipulates the victim into doubting her own sense of reality, eroding...

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